what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
