well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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