i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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