her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
