her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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