I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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