Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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