take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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