Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize