Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
