does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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