If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
