lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
