those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
