I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.