i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.