Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  Being a girl sucks.

  (949): View more from California

  Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too

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  (714): Being a girl sucks. (949): Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too http://tfl.nu/5qxe
  Replies (39) Good night (4994) Bad night (1225)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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  (352): i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so. http://tfl.nu/yfpa
  Replies (31) Good night (5102) Bad night (631)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(

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  (601): Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :( http://tfl.nu/zxos
  Replies (34) Good night (2350) Bad night (4990)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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  (905): She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was. http://tfl.nu/uuuj
  Replies (14) Good night (1755) Bad night (5345)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could

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  (908): you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could http://tfl.nu/ea9t
  Replies (4) Good night (3464) Bad night (1276)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.

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  (785): Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible. http://tfl.nu/7cn6
  Replies (12) Good night (5535) Bad night (1130)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.

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  (215): You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk. http://tfl.nu/rohk
  Replies (10) Good night (2857) Bad night (906)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?

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  (218): Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time? http://tfl.nu/ojrn
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (341)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.

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  (302): I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever. http://tfl.nu/6hp3
  Replies (2) Good night (956) Bad night (481)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.

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  (540): Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/u4dw
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (751)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic

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  (902): that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic http://tfl.nu/ua91
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (301)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....

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  (248): I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him.... http://tfl.nu/0ivu
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (491)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.

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  (703): He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3aao
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (722)
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  (953): View more from

  Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.

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  (953): Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man. http://tfl.nu/f9iu
  Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?

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  (909): An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me? http://tfl.nu/uy1l
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (203)

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