I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy