What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
