Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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