The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
