No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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