There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
