Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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