woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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