wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
