ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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