just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And my parents said I crawled through the house
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
