I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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