shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
