I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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