what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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