I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
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A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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