when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
