honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
