at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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