Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize