A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am one with the molecules
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
