I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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