break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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