it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just fell off a train. Bad.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
