I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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