Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You can't just leave with hair like that
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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