Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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