I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
