Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
