ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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