Michael Bay diarrhea
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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