You're so nebulous sometimes
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
