I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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