if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize