He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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