I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
