i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
