dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize