And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
