Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
