i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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