Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
