is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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