It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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